absolutely

When I need to feel comforted, I pretty much always find myself in Lamentations 3. Sometimes I don't even believe what I'm reading, but still, I go there. I read the words. Without my permission, I am comforted.

I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall. I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me. Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.

My friend prayed tonight that God would bring order. She said, "you are a God of order, and this is chaos."

Chaos: I don't know what to do. I don't know what to say. I don't know how to not be sad. I don't know how to comfort and I don't know how to be comforted. I don't understand. I don't know and I don't see and I don't get it. There is no explanation. There is pain I can't fix. There are problems I can't solve. There are things that no matter my education or experience or training, I can't handle. There is brokenness I can't mend. There is so little I can do. And if I'm being honest that is just skimming the surface. Of just this moment.

Yet this I call to mind...

I believe in a God who is absolute. In the midst of chaos, there is a promise. We are not consumed, because his compassions never fail. Like, not ever. Not once accidentally. Not even on the days when I think my head will explode from the chaos. There is no condition, no limit to God's great love. It is perfect, unchangeable, unlimited, unbounded, pure and unadulterated. Nothing is too broken. No one is too much or too messy. What I want to know when it comes down to it is that I will not be consumed. Because some days, I feel like I might be. And then I remember that I believe in a God of absolutes.

And therefore I have hope.