posers for good

Book Club was Wednesday. I have not read the past two Book Club books because I am a Book Club Loser (BCL). I wasn't always this way, really I wasn't, but recently it's been the case and I hate it. I'd be ashamed to show my face at BC this time having not read. So last Monday, 30 pages in to a 300+ page book, I sat down to tackle that sucker.

I do, however, watch a lot of crap TV. (And we wonder why I am a BCL?) Some of it is probably acceptable but I mean, The Bachelor? I spent roughly two hours a week for the past six weeks watching crazy people pretend like they are making legitimate lifelong connections with their future husband/wife by riding in a helicopter and talking over and over about how they're "in it for the right reasons" and "totally falling for each other" on national television. (This vice is justifiable by how hard I laugh at the commentary of the funny people I watch it with, but unjustifiable for pretty much any other reason at all) I am learning a lot about Mormons from Big Love... well, ok, no I'm not. When I sit down and think about some of the stuff I am wasting my time on, it's upsetting. Pretty much on the whole it is really not enriching my life in any way.

But it's so easy. Sometimes it's nice at the end of a day to sit and watch stupid TV. And I don't think it's always wrong to do it. It's sort of like being really tired and debating whether you should eat a pint of ice cream or go do yoga. Ben & Jerry's isn't always a bad choice and it is immediately satisfying, but you will probably feel sick after. It is a poser for good. Yoga requires a little more work but will make you feel limber and awesome after. I don't always make the right choice. I fall for the impostors more often than I care to admit.

I sat down to speed-read that book though and I couldn't stop. I got wrapped up in the story and the characters and I could barely tear myself away to attend small group for two hours. (I did, because I'm very holy.) After those fools left my house I grabbed a diet root beer, shut myself in my room and read until my eyes were starting to cross and it was after midnight and at last, I was finished. I love doing that. I used to do that all the time. I genuinely book-worm nerd-style love reading; I love getting lost in books and caught up in stories and not being able to stop until it's over because it's THAT good. I shut the book and I thought to myself, that was so much better than watching Desperate Housewives on Hulu. TV is fine I guess. But reading is real good.

I think we know what is good and what is not as good but just sort of looks good. But it's super easy to forget and instead of going for what is good (because usually good takes a little more effort) I go for what is easy and sort of looks like it might be good. I go for the imposters. For me, reading a great novel is life-giving and enriching and makes me feel limber (sure, why not) and awesome. I know that. I know that reading does that for me. I know what is good and what is a poser but I often choose what is not good anyway.

I like being reminded of what really is good. I'm going to work harder at doing those things because I think in general they make me a better, more pleasant, limberer and more awesome human. Even if it seems like it might take a little more work, I'd rather feel limber than sick, I think.