December 13, 2007

ee cummings is a genius

I am absolutely enamored with ee cummings' poetry. I'm talking true, unfettered, love love love. he puts words to things I couldn't even dream of doing... and he doesn't use capital letters, which makes me love him even more! so I'm taking the opportunity to share this, one of my favorite poems of his... I hope it speaks to your soul like it does mine.

i am a little church(no great cathedral)
far from the splendor and squalor of hurrying cities
--i do not worry if briefer days grow briefest,
i am not sorry when sun and rain make april

my life is the life of the reaper and the sower;
my prayers are prayers of earth's own clumsily striving
(finding and losing and laughing and crying)children
whose any sadness or joy is my grief or my gladness

around me surges a miracle of unceasing
birth and glory and death and resurrection:
over my sleeping self float flaming symbols
of hope,and i wake to a perfect patience of mountains

i am a little church(far from the frantic
world with its rapture and anguish)at peace with nature
--i do not worry if longer nights grow longest;
i am not sorry when silence becomes singing

winter by spring,i lift my diminutive spire to
merciful Him Whose only now is forever:
standing erect in the deathless truth of His presence
(welcoming humbly His light and proudly His darkness)

December 12, 2007

love hurts sometimes, when you do it right

patient friends and loved ones -
as it turns out, during finals/tests/stressful times in general, I have this bizarre tendency to become a hermit. seriously. even thinking or considering doing something like blogging or returning phone calls made my head hurt. but never fear my tiny friends, because the drought is over, and I am back and better than ever! or at least back. it is almost midnight on the night after my last final, so I mean, I make no promises about coherency or anything of that sort, but I WILL attempt to update you on my life and times since the last time I updated like 40 years ago. although, at this moment, I can barely remember a time that I wasn't studying. hmm.
so in Colorado, it snows a lot. like a lot a lot. which is fun and pretty - also treacherous. I have fallen upwards of five times already... mostly when I'm by myself, luckily. however, I have had one public ice-ass moment - but what would a good month be without one of those, right? needless to say, I'm walking out of a restaurant one night with a bunch of friends, and I see that the car I came in is about to load and leave. so I'm thinking I'm pretty funny, and I take off running for the car and yell "shotgun! haha - just kidd..." about the time I got to "...ing!" my right foot hit a patch of ice right by my friends, sending both feet perfectly out from under me and butt firmly to the pavement. perfect. after the .45 seconds it took to discover that I was not injured, clearly, laughter ensued. and I died a little on the inside when I realized that I will never be graceful. or cool. dangit.
in other news, I have officially completed my first semester of grad school, which is slightly insane, but also kind of special. (what?) anyway, let me engage you in a first semester assessment of my life here in good old Denver:
school is lovely. I am not much for school in general, but I do love my program and what I'm learning and stuff. turns out, however, that to become a counselor you don't have to not be crazy necessarily (which is lucky for me, as many of you can attest), but you have to be AWARE of all of the ways in which you are crazy so you don't make other people crazy. at least thats how I see it. I have done more self-analysis this semester than I ever hope to do again, and am consequently terribly aware of all of my psychoses. healthy? perhaps. fun? not really at all. but such is life.
my new seminary friends are not nearly as lame as I thought they might be, which is a plus! ok I kid, I kid, but for realzzz - I love the people I am getting to know and I feel super about being here. I love Denver, I do love my new house (complete with 3 new roomies and 2 pretty puppies!), I love my DS friends, I love my non-DS friends (read: Alix and Melanie), and I am really just feeling like life is but a dream. too much touchy-feely emotion for one post? deal with it. I like my life.
since it's been like 4 months since my last post, I feel like I could go on forever - I never have understood quite what the meaning of "concise" was - but I feel that no one will read past the part where I ate it on the ice anyway. so I think I'll go to sleep. tomorrow I am having people over for dinner and am making chili... which sounded like a super idea until I remembered that I have actually no idea how to make chili, and now I am cooking it for like 15 people. OOPS! better get on that.

its good to be back, blog-stalkers - I have missed you knowing creepy amounts of information about my life! oh, and song of the day: In the Sun by Joseph Arthur

peace, love, and mariah carey's christmas album,
megan "so excited for christmas break she can hardly contain herself" greaves

family picture gone terribly wrong...

be honest, you love the velvet turtleneck.

allison and beckie, whom I adoooore

shelbie essentially stole my heart over thanksgiving

November 18, 2007

my b, dawg

so, in retrospect, I totally misused the word plight. it's definition is: a condition, state, or situation, esp. an unfavorable or unfortunate one: to find oneself in a sorry plight. so really, I am not in one of those at all. I would say my starbucks mission (we'll go with mission) is anything BUt unfavorable or unfortunate. So. sorry to have misled you. carry on.

xoxo

November 16, 2007

i'm a sucker for happy endings

----------
beloved readers,
(what?)
greetings! I am due for an update I think, and clearly since it's friday night and I'm babysitting and I couldn't write another paper if you paid me, I decided now was the time. I'm babysitting again for my friend Mark's cute kids while he's out on the town with his wife. Owen, who I believe is 3, got out of bed a few minutes ago, said "mrs. Megan?" and when I went to the stairs, shoved his finger on my face and politely informed me that he had a boogie on it, and kindly asked if I would remove said boogie. after I finished throwing up in my mouth a little (if you know anything about me and boogies... ew) I promptly wiped it off and sent him back to bed, allowing myself to laugh. didn't want him having boogie-inspired self esteem problems because I laughed at his face. these kids are legitimately AHH-dorable though - PLUS I got to watch Mary Poppins.
talk about a poppin' friday night!
HA but, fun story - I got lost coming to Mark's house - like, inexplicably, unbelievably lost. my plan was to leave the library, go to sbucks (see below) and then come here - so I had directions from the sbucks. BUT ALAS. the first street on the directions literally does not exist. or else you have to go through some sort of portal to get there. needless to say, one guess about who got me unlost... yes folks, thats correct, Thomas the directions prodigy. Thomas the kid who memorized the school directory at age 8. Thomas, my genuis brother. were it not for him, I would potentially still not be here... and I am eternally grateful. and apparently, irreversibly bad at directions. crap.
in happier news, my week of papers is about to come to an end. I have pumped out a 20 page autobiographical paper, a 9 page paper about someone else, and am beginning work on a 10 page analysis of 2 Corinthians 4-5 so I don't have to do it over the break. ambitious much?
today I also continued on my newest plight: to try all of the holiday drinks at starbucks on a $20 gift card. the pumpkin spice is my old favorite, but today at the prompting of the barista (and consequently my friend Justin who distracts me during New Testament) I tried a peppermint white chocolate mocha (or something like that). while I can't afford to spend real money on said plight (and who can?), so far I am rocking the $20 maximum and enjoying this tasty plight.
word of the day: plight.

yes, so I think that about sums it up. I started moving things out (sad sad!) and am aiming to do more of that tomorrow, as well as writing this stupid last paper to reach all of my pre-Thanksgiving goals.

song of the day: "Taylor, the Latte Boy" by Kristin Chenoweth (don't judge me)
going home countdown: 4 days
movie I literally can't wait to see: Enchanted (again, don't judge me)

ok thats all I've got.
peace, love, and heated seats,

megan mcgregor greaves

November 11, 2007

i know, i know, i know the sky is what makes the ocean blue

so, I have recently looked at my countdown to thanksgiving, and shockingly, I go home in NINE DAYS! oh my goodness. I am super excited about getting away for a while, but my goodness, do I have a lot to do in 9 days. its going to be a busy week plus, thats for sure! I need to finish writing my 20 page autobiographical theories paper - where I give my autobiography and then apply counseling theories to my own life (HA). so fun. that is all that I need to do before break, but there are so many things due right after break (that I don't want to do during break) that I need to get a leg up on those too. such a crazy life I lead. also I need to move (again, HA) this week so I don't have to do it all right after I get back. Alix and I are getting a little sad about the finality of our breakup, but I think we're definitely still going to hang out all the time (duh) so we'll make it through I think. OH THE EMOTION OF IT ALL!

kristin was here this weekend - so fun. we saw Ben Lee in concert, took pictures with him, and noted that he is a tiny tiny man. but super and fun. now I am recovering from our weekend by baby-stepping back into my homework slash watching america's next top model, which I'm ashamed to say is slowly eating away at my life.

off I go for my week of productivity... oh what joy. soon I will be at home, holding babies, making stuffing, eating pumpkin rolls... oh I can hardly wait!

me, with mr. ben lee.

November 4, 2007

::but it sure is fancy how you love me::

oh what a GLORIOUS weekend. I mean truly glorious.
after my Thursday of baked goods and beauty, I spent Friday giving away said baked goods and napping and doing homework and all around having a grand ol' time. I capped off Friday with a square dance at the harvest ho down at school (most attendees were children... but as Beckie put it: "I can't decide if this is the cutest or lamest thing I have ever attended." Amen.) after which, we retreated to my friend Lisa's to watch a movie. what a day. which brings me to Saturday, where the gloriousness continued with an outdoor run in Wash Park - at which point I realized treadmill and outdoors are NOT in fact equal, and then I nearly amputated my legs. BUT, Wash Park is gorgeous. and I am moving there. so I will wean myself off the treadmill and into the great outdoors if it kills me! oh gosh and THEN (this was just a really great day.) I made myself a breakfast taco with the leftover eggs from the pumpkin cookies and beans and pico. delish. but then comes the really good part: me, Lisa, Beckie, Allison and Chelsea (see picture: minus Allison, who is photographer... but she can be viewed in the one below) drove to BOULDER for an afternoon of FUN and the best concert ever: Matty Wertz and Dave Barnes!!! we shopped on Pearl Street, walked for hours, and enjoyed the mountains - followed by a huge dinner at Rio Cantina and a trip to the famous Tea House for some... you know, tea. the day culminated then, with the best concert I have ever been to (counting the two other times I have seen Matt before in Austin). there is something that just cannot compare with seeing your favorite singer live. and, with Dave Barnes (who most of us promptly fell in love with on sight) who is his BFF, he was just great. their encore consisted of covers of "every little thing she does is magic" by sting and the police and "signed, sealed, delivered - i'm yours" by stevie wonder. they sang their own songs the rest, obv, but those two numbers rocked the house. I'm pretty much still kind of giddy about the whole experience. I am such a fool.

SO: kristin comes in 5 days, thanksgiving break starts in 15 days, and life is but a dream. but until then, pretty much, I will be writing papers. 24/7.
please immediately download: "nothing fancy" and "your love will never change", by Dave Barnes (and then stare at his picture for hours because he is such a beautiful human)

enjoy your Monday!

playing with puppets?

allison, beckie and me at the concert

the object(s) of our musical affections: matt (l) & dave (r)

November 1, 2007

where I live & what I baked.

--------------


have you ever SEEN a bluer sky?!



I still can't believe I live in the mountains.



I've never felt prouder than I did tonight when I baked these Chocolate Drizzle Pumpkin Cookies straight out of my fabulous November issue of Everyday Food. plus they are DELECTABLE. I even fashioned one of those drizzlers of chocolate (which I melted myself) out of a plastic baggie. I've pretty much never been more thrilled.

Its been a day of great beauty, my friends.

ps. happy November!
pps. DL: November, by Emerson Drive - best song ever

ppps. shoutout to Emily -
Michael: Attention everyone. I... DECLARE... BANKRUPCY!
Oscar: You know you can't just say it, right?
Michael: I didn't just say it, Oscar. I DECLARED it.
- The Office

October 30, 2007

"there's a ball at the castle, and I've been invited... and I need to practice my dancing"

--------------
so, don't be alarmed - but this might be a more serious entry - do not fret though, for I am still funny. its just not a funny day.
its not a bad day so much - but something I am struggling with right now is not being such a person of EXTREMES. its like, on any given day I am either doing REALLY well, or my life is a black black hole. this, clearly, is not a very adaptive way to live. (sidenote: I am becoming such a counselor.) SO, what I am trying to become, is a person who can have a crap day and not let it rock my whole world. (please do not read this as a confession of some larger psychological disorder - it is what it is.) so even if you think I might be a little off my rocker with this, I am simply using this venue (my blog) as a means for my great manifesto: I am officially putting it into the universe that I WILL NOT BE A VALLEY-DWELLER. I will not have an off day and then set up camp in crap-ville for 2 weeks. that, my friends, is a person I heartily refuse to be.


I am finding encouragement in: When the Saints by Sara Groves & Isaiah 55

and I will continue loving my life... duh.

finally, to all 3-5 of you who read this... I love you.

October 28, 2007

where the water is blue and the people are new

dear valued readers,
WHAT A WEEK. this week, after finishing my 2 huuuuge midterm exams, i wrote an 18 page paper for new testament and a 6 page human development paper. goodness. i am all kinds of papered out.
but now I find myself at sunday, a BEAUTIFUL day, 70 and sunny... lovely. went to church this morning at Pathways, which although I am not 100% sold on, I am liking a lot... mostly, I am tired of looking and will probably camp there for a while and see what happens. also today the sermon was on the environment and how "God is Green." this is such a hippie state. i love it.
after church... I went and saw my new house. yes, folks, I am officially moving. to an a-dorable house in Wash Park with sarah miller, becca murfin, and julie gieringer, who I know from high school or Wichita, generally. I'm excited about it - it is closer to school, and super cute. AND my room is bigger! lovely!
so thats that... last night I went to a concert and saw Ingrid Michaelson (dl: Far Away), Melee (dl: she's gonna find me here) and matt nathanson (dl nothing because i don't like him.) the two openers were lovely and fun but I don't so much like the other dude. there are so many fun theaters around here - they are all tiny and have really cool insides and make for lots and lots of fun (and cheap!) concerts. I'm actually going to concerts for the next two weeks... potentially 3, making for a total of 4 concerts in 3 weeks. fab. (in my future: matty wertz (dl: carolina)/dave barnes (dl: until you) in boulder; rob drabkin with full band (!!); and ben lee (dl: love me like the world is ending) here in denver with kristin anne foster.) i have such a fun life. of course, in order to pay for these things, I can't do anything else in the next three weeks other than school, watching the tv I already paid for, and eating the groceries I already have. I think I can do it though.

Yes, so things are good. this week I have two full days (tues & thurs) off of school, so I am going to try to get way ahead and be super productive. I will let you know how this goes. did I mention it snowed last week? it was a winter wonderland for one whole day.

In other news, click on the title of this post at the top for pictures of denver people and my friend Katy's visit (which was way fun, and resulted in my new friend Melanie who is super... we watch Greys Anatomy together now. so fun.) ENJOY!

peace, love, and dark vampy nail polish (which is back and better than ever, sorry Mom)

"Alright let me ask you this, tell me if you think this is creative. When I was five, I imagined that there was such a thing as a unicorn. And this was before I had even heard of one, or seen one. I just drew a picture, of a horse, that could fly over rainbows, and a had a huge spike in its head. I was five! Five-years-old. Couldn't even talk yet."
- The Office

October 22, 2007

back to back black ties

things i have learned recently:

new friends are fab
sweet potatoes are DELICIOUS if done right.
grad school is, like, i don't know, really hard?
british men are incredibly inappropriate, generally speaking.
you CAN meet cool, cute boys who love Jesus in bars.
i really like tilapia.
i actually kind of like running.
alix and i are really flipping funny.
snow in october is glorious

i think that about covers it.
i'd write more, but school ate my life.

listen to: doubting thomas by Nickel Creek

"If there's not a God, then, who are all these churches for? And... who is Jesus' dad?"
- The Office

October 19, 2007

"on a dark night in Denver..."

with katy and melanie downtown!

new friend/soulmate beckie johns

THE most adorable picture of the world.

new seminary friends!

we are true denver residents now!

October 18, 2007

you're hard to write down right

There is nothing better than Thursday. Nothing. Let me tell you a little bit about Thursdays. On Thursdays, I have no classes. On Thursdays, I wake up at a normal time, enjoy coffee and breakfast without any rushing, and I get things done. I get to run and work on my studies and enjoy the fabulous weather (like today.) PLUS, the Office is on Thursdays. AND Thursday is practically Friday, which is another glorious day of the week. I. love. Thursdays.
In other news, I am in the middle of the worst month ever school-wise. If I make it alive to November, it might be a miracle. I had my first midterm last night in New Testament (which I rocked, by the way.) I have another (more than likely harder) midterm on Monday in Counseling Theories... in addition to a couple of papers and simultaneously trying to remain a sane human. Should be interesting.
But in lovely news, my dear friend Katy Chichester is coming TODAY to visit (her other friend and sort of me too) so I am waiting on her right now because her flight is delayed. I'm pretty excited to see someone familiar and spend time with her... even though I should be studying. Its ok... I have all weekend!
I am holding out until Halloween, pretty much, which is when things will kind of calm down and I will get to breathe again. We are planning on going to the Matt Wertz/Dave Barnes concert in Boulder (who if you don't know me, matty is my FAVORITE) and then Kristin (i.e. CHI CHI) is coming to visit me the second weekend in November and we are going to see Ben Lee in concert. I love living in a state with good music.

And finally, what I've learned in grad school this week: this very quiet, very smart man in my NT class said this last night, and it reeeeally resonated with me... we were talking about what the use is in praying for miracles - does it set us up for failure, in some cases? and if God's will is God's will, then shouldn't prayer seem a little... silly? futile? Here was this dude's response:
“We tend to think that if what we pray for doesn’t happen, it “didn’t work.” But I submit that if it has brought us closer into relationship with Jesus, then, it worked.”

glorious. God is good.

October 14, 2007

weekend update, if you will

what a crazy wild weekend. let me break it down for you.

the weekend was kicked off after my biblical interpretation class on friday afternoon with my pretty much weekly off-campus lunch date with beckie and lisa. we had a lovely conversation and discussed the books we are reading... as beckie and i recently ordered a couple of - lets face it - self-help books and agreed to share notes. we are learning a lot. while we are pretty embarrassed by these purchases (we bought them on amazon so no one would have to know) we have decided, in her words, to "own it" and just be ok with the fact that we do need help. this was a big confession for me, just so you know, so please don't judge me. THANKS. THEN. after a thrilling afternoon of reading for New Testament, i fell asleep for a couple of hours, waking just in time for my big friday night plans: BABYSITTING! but really, i was legitimately excited about this. i babysat for my friend Mark from school's kids so he and his wife could go out - and their kids are fab. i miss being around kids all the time so this was a lovely way to spend the evening... so cute. so fun. aaaaaaand that was friday.

saturday started off with a bang, after another insomniac night (have i mentioned that i have recently become an insomniac?) i woke up and read and lounged about pretty much all day. i cleaned a little and went running (i'm also trying to run now, as opposed to the eliptical, which is hilarious and pathetic and kind of great all at the same time). then after a full hour, no joke, of alix and i sitting in the living room/kitchen (its a small apartment, ok?) saying "BUT WHAT DO WE DO?" in lieu of where we should go for dinner. we finally decided on Steubens, a fun little retro place a couple blocks away which was delish. THEN we went to target (yes, at 8:00 on a saturday night) and made a maginificent discovery: we need not get all dressed up nd go to bars on saturday nights to meet boys - all you have to do is go to TARGET. seriously. we saw like 10 eligible bachelors in 5 minutes. it was shocking. so i mean, we'll be doing all of our grocery shopping on saturday nights from now on.

today i got a LOT of schoolwork done (are you seeing a trend in my weekend plans?) and then made a glorious dinner of tilapia, broccoli, and sweet potato that i learned how to make from my new subscription to martha stewart's Everyday Food (THANK YOU AMIE!!!! i will be a fabulous cook in no time.) and now here we are.

until next time, listen to "you picked me" by A Fine Frenzy, go Rockies, and check out the pictures link below to see new friends (and some summer pictures, too).
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2021056&l=0bbfb&id=24900146

"They say you can't mix business with pleasure. REALLY. Then please tell me how it is that a putt putt golf course operates." -the Office

October 11, 2007

life inside the music box ain't easy

my biggest problem with this whole deal is thinking of worthwhile things to write about. i read em's blog and its so funny and fab and i just feel like i can't compete! so i will continue attempting until i make my final decision... but since i have nothing cool in particular to write about, i will do a simple life update on my glamorous life.

1. i got one of the better haircuts of my life the other day. it was totally spur of the moment, at a salon i had never been to and knew nothing about, and it was PURE GLORY. the girl (bre) was fantastic and took off like half of my hair without actually changing the way it looked. which may sound not very cool, but when you have as much hair as i do, is AMAZING. she also conned me into 3, yes 3, aveda products which are making my life daily more amazing because my hair continually smells like perfection. so thats that.
2. midterms are coming up, along with long papers about Jesus which i haven't started. but this is the way i do things, so i am not yet concerned. i just may have to hibernate for upwards of a month. but at least i have today, i guess.
3. yesterday i was bullied by a cop. not pulled over, not ticketed, just bullied. he pointed at me (from the front) then pulled over - so i too pulled over - then he said, "WHAT are you doing?" me: "I'm sorry, I thought you wanted me to pull over?" ass clown cop: "What I want you to do is use your turn signal. Go! Keep driving!" me: completely bewildered: "Um, ok." what a fool. i still don't think i did anything wrong, nor do i have any idea why captain power-trip needed to yell at me. then, clearly, i irrationally cried all the way to school. what a good start to the day!
4. i might be moving. i also might not - but the possibility exists. its a long story and don't worry, alix and i aren't breaking up or anything, i just might move closer to Littleton. on the bright side, when Mom was talking about my potential move, I basically got roped into a blind date type situation with her friend's son who lives here and is in real estate. perfect. more on this as it develops.

as an aside, i recieved an unusually hilarious email from a friend of mine the other day who just started Seminary at another school (i.e. not Denver). he was telling me about everything, and finding similarly to me that everyone in seminary is married/engaged/looking to be one of those as soon as possible... and he literally said that nothing scared him more than a seminary girl. HAHA. i took no offense to this, instead, i vowed to try my very hardest NOT to be that girl. i wrote him back, promising that i would never be the girl who meets a boy sans wedding band and immediately is picking out wedding colors and china patterns and baby names. it won't be easy, since it seems i can hardly escape this "uh oh i'm out of college, quickly, i must find a husband!" mindset. instead i will do my best to remain calm and collected until Jesus feels that I can handle a man as well as myself. or one who can just handle me. or something. repeat after me: I will not become a scary seminary girl. or a scary any kind of girl. done and done.

5. kristin anne foster is coming to visit me in november and everytime i think of it i am filled with glee! we will also potentially be seeing mr. ben lee in concert, which is nothing short of glorious.
6. tonight, thursday night, is the best of nights because of prime time television. first is 30Rock, starring Tina Fey, then the choice that continually keeps me up at night - do i watch the Office, or do i watch Grey's Anatomy? and finally, sometimes, Alix and i watch ER. but its really only cool if the Dr. next door is over, because then he gives us a play-by-play of what is going on and if it is realistic. needless to say, I look forward to thursday nights. a wonderful break from counseling/bible textbooks and for my brain to relax for a couple of hours.
7. i am listening to really excellent music these days. iTunes is by far the greatest and most expensive invention of my generation and/or life.

until next time, listen to:
be thou my vision by Pedro the Lion, the underdog by Spoon, and trains i've missed by Walt Wilkerson and the Mysteqeros

"here's to this place i've found, the love i've known
the earth and the sky that I call home
here's to the things I need, bigger than me,
and the moments I find myself right where i'm supposed to be
its a big old world, but i've found my way
and the hell and the hurt led me straight to it
here's to the trains i've missed"

October 2, 2007

just a little stitious

i still haven't quite decided whether or not i think this is cool. my two cool cousins, who i have tried most of my life to model my life after, both have blogs... so i'm pretty sure that means its sort of cool for me to have one too. i just moved to denver, also called "menver," or so i'm told, but the jury is still out on that one. on alix and i's first night investigating the night life, someone actually yelled, "do you guys wanna get slayed?!" while we're not entirely sure of the definition of "slayed," we are definitely sure it is not, in fact, something we want to be. or get, or whatever. we haven't been out since.*
i currently double as grad student and social butterfly, making for quite the madcap life here in the mountains. i do love my school, have discovered that seminarians are not the scary breed i feared them to be, and learned that i CAN in fact navigate a big city if i try really really hard. and get lost upwards of four thousand times. no big deal.
other than that, i have some friends, and am still on the neverending church search. today i have also considered a part-time receptionist gig (to utilize my many marketable skills) and being a volunteer YoungLife leader. after all my years of psychotic involvement at wcs and trinity, i guess i just don't know what to do with all of this free time i suddenly have to do things like sleep, stay up on my thousands of grad school readings, and have a social life. quickly, fill my schedule with extra responsibilities!
thats about all i've got - it is october now, which is a really excellent month. alix tells me there are to be snow flurries this weekend, and although i'll believe it when i see it, i have promised her that we can surely make snow angels.

until next time, download and love "lover" by derek webb. and watch the office on thursdays. ahhmazing.

*i'm kidding. sort of.